


Cookie and the Onion

by tanwencooper



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Blow Job, Cooking, Crack, Domestic!Derek, Fluff, Food Porn, Knotting, M/M, cookie and the onion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 09:53:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanwencooper/pseuds/tanwencooper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you know that in Hungarian cookie means penis?” said Stiles.</p><p>Some times Derek wonders why he puts up with Stiles, he really does. The boy knows far too much about male genitalia for his own good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cookie and the Onion

**Author's Note:**

> This comes from a late night chat on the Sterek Campaign chat room. Blame them!

            “Do you know that in Hungarian 'cookie' means penis?” said Stiles.

            Derek looked at the treat he’d just been about to eat. Then he looked at Stiles, innocently perched on the kitchen work surface, his gaze scanning from biscuit to Derek’s mouth and back again.

            “Well actually, it’s kind of like a kids nick name. More like ‘tally-wacker’.”

            With a sigh Derek put the cookie back down on the plate. He’d been looking forward to that cookie. He didn’t each sweet things much. He needed to stay in shape if he wanted to fend off whatever monster it would be coming to kill them this week, so he kept to a strict diet. Pizza was the real killer. He missed pizza but cookies were one of the few treats he let himself cheat on. Now Stiles seemed determined to ruin even that simple pleasure.

            “How do you even know that?” he asked huffily.

            “I wrote an essay on the history of circumcision once,” said Stiles picking up Derek abandoned biscuit and shoving it in his mouth whole. He made sure to keep his gaze fixated on Derek’s as he did it, sticking each one of his fingers into his mouth to slowly lick them off. “I learned a lot about male genitalia in a variety of different cultures.”

            “What class was that even for?”

            “Economics.”

            Derek shook his head and turned away from Stiles. There was no point talking to him when he was being like this. He might as well get dinner ready. The pack were coming over for a meeting in an hour, so he was cooking a job lot of spaghetti bolognaise for them. It was one of the few things he’d learned to cook when he was a bachelor and there was no point learning now as Stiles did most of the cooking. He was surprisingly good at it.

            “Could you throw me that onion,” he asked Stiles.

            “Cipolla,” said Stiles affecting an outrageous accent, though what country it was supposed to be from, Derek couldn’t tell.

            “What are you on about now?” asked Derek.

            “Cipolla. It’s onion in Italian.”

            “Of course it is.”

            “You know what else the Italians call Cipolla?” he asked, sounding like he was up to no good as usual.

            “Do I want to know?” asked Derek slicing into the onion. He could already feel the fumes starting to sting his eyes.

            “The knot. As in when wolves are knotting. That knot.”

            Derek dropped the knife on the chopping board as he got his frustration under control. What was Stiles obsession with knotting! He’d told the guy a thousand times that it wasn’t a real thing. Well, it was a real thing, but only with real wolves, not were’ ones. The boy seemed utterly unconvinced though, and Derek was not about to have this argument again.

            His eyes were really stinging now. He whipped them with the back of his hand but that only made it worse.

            “Here,” said Stiles handing him a tea spoon.

            Derek looked across to see that Stiles had one as well. In his mouth.

            “Put it under your tongue,” he said around the utensil.

            “What?” asked Derek.

            “It helps with the fumes.”

            Stiles oral fixation seemed worse than usual tonight as Derek slid the metal into his mouth. He even made a little squeak of longing as Derek swirled it around in his mouth to get it comfortable.

            “Stiles. Are you just after a blow job right now?”

            Stiles looked sheepishly at him, swinging his legs over the edge of the worktop.

            “Maybe. Is it working?”

            Derek rubbed his streaming eyes.

            “Can I at least get dinner going first?” asked Derek.

            Stiles punched the air in triumph.

            “Yes. Score.”

            He jumped off the table and went to get the tinned tomatoes. Suddenly helping Derek finish cooking dinner as quickly as possible was very high on his list of priorities.

 


End file.
